


what we have

by hajiiwa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Denial of Feelings, Drabble, Ficlet, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Poetic, daishou is lonely please hug him, not sure how to tag but it's very... almost omniscient
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 06:12:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11640609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajiiwa/pseuds/hajiiwa
Summary: Daishou Suguru is not in love.(Daishou Suguru is hiding his feelings.)





	what we have

Daishou Suguru is not in love.

He has made an effort for that to be  _ very  _ clear-- what he feels is not love, it’s not even  _ affection _ . Hasn’t he made it known that he hates Kuroo Tetsurou? It’s obvious, isn’t it? Their entire relationship is based on banter, insults passed back and forth between a veil of respect that even Daishou doubts sometimes. Their dynamic is one that’s based on competition, so no, he’s not in love.

What a ridiculous thing to think.

It’s not  _ love  _ that motivates Daishou to sit and think, sometimes for hours, formulating just the  _ perfect  _ comeback that will leave Kuroo gasping and sputtering. The emotion that rises in his chest when they’re neck-and-neck in grades isn’t fondness, or pride, it’s jealousy.  _ Two points higher, huh? I’ve got to do better next time. I’ve got to prove to him that I’m not inferior. _

Sometimes, Daishou knows  _ exactly  _ what emotion he’s feeling. It’s hatred, bitter and consuming, when he sees Kuroo gloating over something he himself couldn’t accomplish. It’s loathing when Kuroo makes a comment about his hair, his skin, his personality that makes his stomach twist. It’s not  _ hurt _ . Daishou’s feelings are fine. He couldn’t let his feelings get damaged by  _ Kuroo fucking Tetsurou _ , who’s taller than he is, smarter, better liked.

And even rarer, he feels… guilt. Guilt when he knows he hit a nerve, shame when he hears Kuroo’s arrogant tone of voice stutter, regret when he knows he stepped too far. 

Daishou Suguru is not in love.

(Daishou Suguru is hiding his feelings.)

He tries to pretend that it’s a different name forcing its way past his lips when the house is silent and his hand is under the covers, when he’s at his most vulnerable, thinking of the one person he can  _ never  _ let see him like this. He pretends that they just walk back along the train station together because they take the same route, he pretends that the soft moments between them are just tricks of the setting sun and the atmosphere, he pretends that Kuroo’s eyes only linger when he’s trying to form an insult.

He pretends it doesn’t hurt when he sees Kuroo with other people. He kids himself into thinking that Kuroo has moved on when his taunting falls on deaf ears. He knows that breaking the routine that they have would ruin everything, all of it, so he stays quiet.

Because Daishou Suguru is not in love.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i'm not doing my snek son justice for this one. oh well. I LOVE YOU SUGURU
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://chxngsey.tumblr.com/)


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